


Passive or Aggressive

by DoreyG



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Jealousy, M/M, Monster on a Leash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 18:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21002459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: Zim cackles as he's dragged all the way down the street, around the corner and a few steps down the nearest alleyway.





	Passive or Aggressive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [syrupwit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/syrupwit/gifts).

Zim cackles as he's dragged all the way down the street, around the corner and a few steps down the nearest alleyway. In fact, he doesn't _stop_ cackling until he spins around and fixes him with a venomous glare. 

...And even then, he's still smiling with _far_ too many teeth.

"What," he hisses, absolutely furious and also - because apparently this is just his life now - feeling absolutely _ridiculous_ about it, "were you _doing_?"

"Laughing, Dib-Smell," Zim says, grin somehow growing wider - until it makes up fully half of his face - at his expression of pure and heartfelt outrage. "Don't blame me. I just find it _hilarious_ when you foolish humans get jealous and forget all your so-called dignity."

"I wasn't _talking_ about the laughing. I've known you for ten years now, Zim, I know what your stupid laugh sounds like," he snaps, and takes a petty step closer so Zim has to tilt his head back to look up at him. "I was talking about the, uh-"

"Jealousy?" Zim suggests innocently, grin dimming just a little at his obvious power grab.

"What you were doing to cause the jealousy!" He yells, and immediately feels even more ridiculous. He has _no_ idea why this kind of situation, having a screaming fight at midnight in the middle of the street with his alien boyfriend, keeps happening. "You were _flirting_ with those guys, Zim. Right in front of me!"

"I was just talking to them," Zim argues, but with a sly look on his face that kind of ruins the whole innocent act. "In a _flirtatious_ manner!"

"That counts as flirting, Zim!" He snaps, glaring afresh. "That's the dictionary definition of flirting!"

"I have not read your puny earth dictionary," Zim informs him scornfully, still smirking. Every time he sees that smirk, every single time he witnesses it crawl across Zim's face, he finds himself wanting to scream. "I did not know what I was doing. It is entirely _your_ problem if my totally innocent attempts at _light_ and _charming_ conversation cause you to turn into a stupid human animal."

"You knew _exactly_ what you were doing," he disagrees sourly, crossing his arms angrily over his chest. "All the little glances under your eyelashes, the cooing laughs, the actually being _nice_ to people for a change... And the way you kept _looking_ at me while you were doing it, like you were just waiting for me to react."

Zim gives him a completely innocent look. The kind of look that suggests that not only would he never look at Dib while flirting with other men, but that he doesn't even understand the concept of eyes. As intended, it only makes him more furious.

"Is that what you meant to happen, for me to get angry?" He rages, tightening his arms over his chest until he can practically feel his bones creaking. "Is that what you _wanted_, for me to get absolutely furious and drag you out of that party like some neanderthal? Is that what you intended, Zim, for me to make an utter fool out of myself just because I wanted to prove that you're _mine_?"

"Dib-Creature!" Zim's absurdly wide smile is back in full force, lighting up his face. He's always hated that smile too, ever since the day they first met and Zim proved himself to be an evil alien _dick_ right off the bat. "You always have been _far_ too imaginative! You are reading into things far too much! You _are_ a _fool_!"

"And is that all that you hoped for, _Zim_-?" He grinds to a halt, rage leaving him in a rush. Pauses for a second, watching Zim's eyes narrow cautiously, and then lowers his face into his hands and _groans_. "This is ridiculous."

There's an even longer pause. He doesn't look up, but he can feel Zim's eyes resting on him in a confused way "...Dib-Smell?"

"I'm not this kind of person," he mumbles into his hands, then lifts his head again and fixes Zim with a rueful glare. "I've _never_ been this kind of person. I don't get jealous, I've always thought that getting that het up about another person was _stupid_."

"I thought that I was the only one you've dated," Zim says, now looking decidedly disgruntled instead of sickeningly amused. "Was I _incorrect_?!"

"Not exactly," he grumbles, and reaches out to grab Zim's arm before he can go tearing off on an entirely unjustified murder spree. "I had a few schoolyard girlfriends before you even came along, though, and I _have_ had crushes other than you. You're not _that_ special, Zim."

"Lies!" Zim shouts, but doesn't yank away from his grip. "Those don't _count_, you fool. Why are you so _stupidly_ distressed about something you couldn't have known in advance?"

"Because I don't want to be one of those people!" He snaps, blushing slightly as Zim gives him an absolutely baffled look. "I _hate_ those people. You see them around all the time, at college and on the internet and in random public spaces when you're just trying to go about your day, and they're the absolute _worst_. They're selfish, and they're stupid, and they're dickheads at _best_. They're always terrible people, and I-"

Zim tilts his head, looking surprisingly thoughtful.

"...I don't want to be a terrible person," he admits, closing his eyes.

"Dib-Creature," Zim says, voice surprisingly soft, and waits patiently until he finally opens his eyes and looks at him again. "You do not need to worry, you are already the _worst_ at being a human."

"Hey!"

"And I do not mind you being the worst. I do not mind you getting jealous," Zim continues, smirking again at his offended splutter. "I _liked_ it, when you got angry and dragged me out of that _tiresome_ party like a- A neo- Like a somehow even _stupider_ human! It made me happy to see you acting like a true fool."

"It did?" He asks, completely bemused. He's tempted to think that Zim's lying for some reason, trying to lure him into some fiendish trap that won't actually be all that effective... But for once, his expression is entirely sincere. "_Why_?"

"I have always loved to goad you, Dib-Creature, I do not know why you're surprised." Zim shrugs casually, but there's that reluctant look on his face that he only gets when he's about to force himself to tell the truth. "I like to know that that I can get you riled up, that I'm one of the few who can get you to lay aside all decorum and act like a complete idiot. And, more than that, I like to know that the reason you get so riled up is because you consider me - _Zim_ \- yours."

He stares for a second, struck speechless.

...He realizes that he's grinning like an idiot, probably wide enough to rival Zim at his most psychopathic. "I _guess_ that makes sense. Sort of. As much as you ever do, at any rate."

"Of course it does!" Zim huffs, with a roll of his eyes that's so dramatic that it can only be covering the fact that he's relieved. "You fool! When will you realize that _Zim_ is the true genius in this arrangement!"

"When you actually succeed in taking over the world, bird-brain." He snorts, secure in the knowledge that that'll _never_ happen. "I've gotta admit, though, it's nice. To know that you, for all your dumb alien weirdness, consider yourself mine too."

"Oh, Dib Fool!" Zim glares, and for a second he thinks that the yelling is about to start up again. But then Zim smiles, one of those weirdly tender ones that he never quite knows what to do with, and wriggles free to punch him in the arm. "_That_ has been true since the first day we met."

He stares down at Zim for a second, oddly touched despite the pain in his arm.

"Now, follow!" Zim, of course, ruins the moment. Bares his teeth again, and spins dramatically on his heel to march away. "We must return _home_! And, if we reach it quickly enough, maybe _copulate_!"

He should still be angry. He should be confused, and disgusted, and possibly even _ashamed_ to have their private business yelled so loudly in the streets. Instead he can only give a helpless smile, and jog after Zim absolutely willingly.


End file.
